Ken is classified in the United States with a sever handicapped disability. He receives a social security check from the United States. It is not much but it is very necessary for us financially. I alThen the system requires a monthly accounting of the money spent and for what. That seems s. That does not blend well within management control of more than one disabled person.
I ran a group home and found out that if you have six disabled people all under one roof - every one needs to follow and Ken is not a follower. He takes on responsibilities, he makes decisions for himself, he has choices about his wants and likes. You cannot run a home with a bunch of independent disabled people all having their own choices. You have to have a group follow in the group. He does not fit in that profile. Only other choice is to drug him into compliance with the total group and that is not a life. That is a zombie.
So we are in Mexico. This has been the most frightening decision I have ever made. I did my research, and this idea seemed possible. Scary but possible.
Having been in Mexico for almost a year now, I see that the life Ken lives here is correct. He is free. There is nchecks were wrong or late and every month it was fighting for his rights - always fighting. After 40 years of it I was so dang tired of fighting I could not see straight.
The system was eating me alive and it was destroying any work ethics I was trying to work on with Then the system requires a monthly accounting of the money spent and for what. That seems only fair on the surface of it all. It is the states money and they need to account for how they spend it to the federal government.
But under the surface is what I saw. The day to day workings of it all.
Mexico with no financial help at all could hardly seem like a better place for him to live. But under the surface, I saw a possible way for Ken to survive without me better out of the system than in.
This idea of course depended upon Ken and the majority of disabled people may not be able to do what I thought could be done.
Ken has the capabilities (I think) to provide for himself with just a little help. If I could purchase a large piece of land and have him take care of chicken, rabbits, fruit trees, he could feed himself. If the land was paid for he could provide the money for taxes from his social security. If he had a well on the land he would have free water. Can I train him to do this? Will he learn? Is there enough time to accomplish this before I die? What other options are there?
Stay in the system in America and get him into a living situation in the system. I tried that four times in the past and Ken does not fit within the system control management because of his own personality and because I taught him that he has rights and to stand up for those rights. That does not blend well within management control of more than one disabled person.
I ran a group home and found out that if you have six disabled people all under one roof - every one needs to follow and Ken is not a follower. He takes on responsibilities, he makes decisions for himself, he has choices about his wants and likes. You cannot run a home with a bunch of independent disabled people all having their own choices. You have to have a group follow in the group. He does not fit in that profile. Only other choice is to drug him into compliance with the total group and that is not a life. That is a zombie.
So we are in Mexico. This has been the most frightening decision I have ever made. I did my research, and this idea seemed possible. Scary but possible.
Having been in Mexico for almost a year now, I see that the life Ken lives here is correct. He is free. There is not a mind set in Mexico as in the States about disabilities. They are just part of the population here and nothing more. No extra help but no isolating from the regular society. There are not groups of handicapped people being walked around the town lead by "normal" people. They just walk around like everyone else. He love it down here, he feels free. This seems like it has been the best choice for him.
Now the job before me that I face at the age of 67 is can I restart our lives in this foreign land and get Ken where he needs to be before I leave him on his own? Can I pull this off? Well, I do not know but I will give it all I have to make it work. Plus we will have fun, we will enjoy or lives here and we will learn.
So far, the move to Mexico has been the healthiest thing (emotionally and physically)I could have done for both of us. I am glad I had the guts to try because I think it is working. Money is still our biggest problem. We have to live and save money on 2,000.00 USD a month.
Wish us luck and send up a good word for us to a higher power to help. So follow our moves and lives to see if this is really possible or not and how I do pull it off or let it go.
I promise you one thing with this blog, and that is = it will not be boring.
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